When we imagine a happy relationship, we often start with the model most familiar to us. For some, that means two people choosing romantic and sexual exclusivity. Others agree to the possibility of additional relationships.
Does the relationship structure itself tell us how satisfied people are? A meta-analysis gives us reason to consider this question more carefully, without deciding on a winner in advance.
What Did the Meta-Analysis Find?
Joel R. Anderson and colleagues combined findings from 35 studies involving a total of 24,489 participants. The paper was first published online on March 24, 2025, and subsequently appeared in the January 2026 issue of The Journal of Sex Research.
They found no statistically significant average difference in either relationship satisfaction or sexual satisfaction between monogamous and non-monogamous participants. Subgroup analyses also found no significant differences in this overall pattern according to the types of agreements examined or whether samples were heterosexual or LGBTQ+.
This does not mean that all relationships are alike, or that changing an agreement would improve someone’s relationship. The meta-analysis compares groups and inherits the limitations of the studies it includes; it does not establish what suits every individual.
What Do We Mean by “Consensual Non-Monogamy”?
Understanding the topic requires clarifying the terms. Monogamy involves an agreement about exclusivity, while consensual non-monogamy allows certain additional romantic or sexual relationships with the knowledge and consent of those involved.
These agreements can take different forms. An open relationship and polyamory, for example, do not describe exactly the same experience. It is therefore useful to ask what a particular agreement includes, rather than assuming everyone means the same thing by a label.
Infidelity involves deception or a breach of agreed boundaries. Allowing additional relationships does not mean there are no boundaries that can be broken.
A Relationship Label Does Not Describe Its Everyday Reality
Imagine two couples who describe their relationships as monogamous. One has openly discussed what flirting, messaging other people, and sexual exclusivity mean to them. The other assumes these things go without saying, even though the partners have different expectations.
A similar misunderstanding is possible in a non-monogamous relationship. One person may believe the agreement includes sharing information about new relationships, while another thinks those details should remain private.
These imagined examples show why a label is not a complete description of an agreement. It is necessary to understand what people actually expect from each other.
Relationship Structure and Sexual Orientation Are Different
Sexual orientation does not, on its own, tell us whether someone wants monogamy or another kind of agreement.
Bisexuality does not imply a need for multiple partners. Gay and lesbian relationships also have no single default structure. The same applies to heterosexual relationships.
Instead of drawing conclusions based on identity, we can ask a simple question: “What kind of relationship do you want?” The answer belongs to the individual.
Consent Must Leave Room to Say No
Discussing a different relationship structure can reveal important needs, as well as disagreements. One person may want a change, while the other wants to maintain exclusivity.
Both have the right to say clearly what they want. Consent should not be assumed because someone has agreed to talk, nor should it be obtained through persistent persuasion.
Partners may discover that their wishes are incompatible. That can be painful, but it should not be concealed beneath an agreement one person accepts only out of fear of losing the other.
Questions That Can Clarify Expectations
If partners want to discuss the structure of their relationship, they can begin with specific questions:
- What does fidelity mean to each of us?
- Which boundaries matter to us?
- What do we expect to share, and what do we consider private?
- Do we both freely want this agreement?
- How will we say that the agreement no longer works for us?
These are conversation suggestions, rather than methods whose effectiveness was tested in the meta-analysis. Their purpose is to make expectations clearer.
What Questions Do the Findings Leave Us With?
The meta-analysis does not justify declaring either monogamous or consensually non-monogamous relationships satisfying for everyone.
For each individual, a more personal question remains: “Is this a relationship I freely choose, and are our agreements respected?” Answering it requires attention to people’s actual experiences, including the needs of everyone involved.
Source
Anderson, J. R., Hinton, J. D. X., Bondarchuk-McLaughlin, A., Rosa, S., Tan, K. J., & Moor, L. (2026). Countering the Monogamy-Superiority Myth: A Meta-Analysis of the Differences in Relationship Satisfaction and Sexual Satisfaction as a Function of Relationship Orientation. The Journal of Sex Research, 63(1), 130–142.
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